Arguments between Partners

Arguments with partners

Hello Everyone! It’s Miss Laura again. Today, I would like to talk to you about conflicts with your partner.

Believe it or not, arguments can be helpful because you may get something positive from it. I know that you all are thinking: Is it possible to get something positive from an argument? Yes, it’s possible!

People react differently to conflicts.  Some people react by avoiding it, others may explode, escape from the situation or even act as if there is no problem at all.

Don’t be afraid of conflict if you approach it in a positive way.  Conflict can make you grow or you can even learn something new to provide closure. We have to keep in mind that there is always a solution to your problems.

It is important to maintain a good attitude while trying to find a solution to the problem. If we argue in a hurtful way by shaming or hurting our partner, this will not help. 

I feel that finding the best time and place to talk is necessary, so you and your partner are relaxed. Set up a date and time to talk about what is (or was) wrong. It does not need to be a special place, just somewhere quiet where your feelings can be expressed. It could even be after we put our kids to bed.

It won’t be positive if we start by blaming our partner and saying negative things about how they act.

Do not get defensive, you can stop the conversation anytime if you feel that you or your partner are getting upset. You can always ask for a time out because you or your partner are getting mad, using bad language or getting too violent. I feel getting some fresh air always helps.

Pick up the right words to say.  ‘Always’ and ‘never’ are words that we can’t use in an argument because we tag them. An example may be saying: “ I am tired that you are ‘never’ affectionate anymore.” We can change those words into: “I miss you being nice and affectionate to me. Can you please hug me or tell me something beautiful?”

This way the other person won’t feel attacked and won’t raise any defense mechanisms. Try to listen and understand your partner, they have something to say too. Don’t get into an argument to see who will win the battle. Real victory is when both of you reach an agreement!

Remember, every tiny step into finding a better way to express ourselves and solving our problems together, it’s a way to improve our relationship.